• Handwritten Letters

    Handwritten letters have become a bittersweet form of communication. In the age of email and text messages, letters and even handwriting has become outdated. As someone who grew up during the technology boom, I can recall a time when people weren’t obsessed with computers and cell phones. I remember passing notes to friends during class and being sent to the principal’s office. I remember keeping those notes, reading them with friends later on and laughing about our younger selves. I remember writing big stories and drawing silly pictures of inside jokes and past year recollections in our friends’ yearbooks. Now all these notes lost and yearbooks collecting dust like friends…

  • Swinging Clothes Lines

    Unlike most women, I actually don’t like shopping. I mean looking at clothes is fun and all but when it comes to having to buy something for myself, it causes an unnecessary amount of anxiety and stress. You see, as someone with a fat body, finding clothes in my size is difficult. Finding modest clothes in my size is difficult. Finding modest clothes that I actually like in my size feels impossible. I can only remember a handful of times where I actually owned clothes that I loved. Many times my wardrobe was filled with clothes that I would wear, simply because they fit me. I’m not a fashionista or…

  • Lil’ Premie

    I must have been nesting because I was determined to clean my entire house. I even had Hubby move the furniture so I could vacuum and mop every nook and cranny. I went upstairs to put Sulayman to bed when I suddenly thought that I had peed myself. I got changed, laid in bed with Sulayman to rock him and sing him some songs to sleep. When I got back up, my underwear was wet again. This time when I went to the washroom, I had a flashback to when my mucus plug or bloody show when my labour started with Sulayman. I still had 5 weeks of pregnancy left…

  • Veiled Accusations

    Recently I read a Facebook post by a feminist page supporting a trending tweet #burntheniqab because it’s ‘not in the Qur’an, it erases women’s identities, and is not empowering’. Westernized Muslims whose families have adopted a negative opinion of hijab or worry that a hijab will compromise the woman’s safety, often discourage female family members from covering. Also, women make up the majority of Muslim converts. If they chose to cover, it often creates a conflict between them and their families. In some cases their families cut ties with them. Similar to women being forced to cover or be shunned by their families, these women often have to choose between…

  • Jasper: A short lived friend

    One night while driving home, we were stopped at the ramp to the highway because of a small black and white kitten that kept trying to go onto the road. Fearing for his safety, we pulled over and I tried to call him into our car. He was clearly scared and started to go back into the long grass. Our maid picked him up and brought him into the car. Terrified, his meows filled our car. Eventually he decided to hide under my seat. We stopped at the store to pick up some cat food and set him up with a bed of blankets in our bathroom. The next day…

  • Labour of Love

    My mom rubbed my belly saying, “Grandma’s here, time to come out!” My mom was watching a movie while I was trying to cook dinner. Every time I had a contraction I would start speed walking around my house or sit on the toilet for relief. Eventually she said it was time to go to the hospital because my contractions had been regular for over an hour. I honestly thought that the hospital was going to end up sending me back home. I didn’t believe I was actually in labour. On the way and at the hospital, I tried calling Hubby several times. I got one of those automated messages…

  • Pakistan Zindabad!

    With Pakistan Independence Day just around the corner, August 14th, I decided to do a fun craft with the Moms and Tods group I facilitate every week. As parents, we love sentimental things that remind us of when our children were young. They are only small for a short time so it’s easy to forget just how small they actually were! I picked up some paint to make flag hand prints! We used green for the palm and thumb so that there was a big enough space to stick a little crescent and star made of paper. Then painted the four fingers and tip of the thumb white. I don’t…

  • Intelligent Design

    I grew up in a family that wasn’t really religious, more culturally Christian: celebrating the holidays without any of the spiritual stuff. There was this man from the church who had volunteered to take my mom and her siblings to church when they were children. When I was about 8 years old, this same man volunteered to drive my cousins and I to church on rare occasions when we wanted to go. I loved going to church for the singing and meeting people in the community; however, I didn’t go very often. In fact, the Sunday school used to bribe us with chocolate bars if we came 3 Sundays in a row. I…

  • Moving to Pakistan

    September 2016: my in-laws, who are from America, were in Canada and drove 2.5 hours to Kingston to tell Hubby that they wanted him to pursue his PhD. On rare occasions they had visited Toronto but had never actually come to visit us in our home. They encouraged Hubby to choose whichever school he wanted and offered to help with whatever we needed so long as it led to a PhD in his chosen field. I thought it was a great idea for him to go back to school despite having a toddler and a baby on the way. Hubby had wanted to get a PhD before I met him…